Comments on: Junkies are the Scum of the Earth (4)

By: Environmental Impact Statement

Environmental Impact Statement — Sun, 10 May 2009 12:29:30 +0000

Thank you Ronda and may the force be with you for nothing lasts forever – not the good times nor the bad times.
And those who sit in judgement of others may wish to ponder the words of wisdom, attributed to Theodore Roosevelt:
â€œFar better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.â€

By: ronda jambe

ronda jambe — Sun, 10 May 2009 08:00:44 +0000

An amazing story of courage and perseverance, and Happy Mother’s Day to you, EIS, and all loving mothers (and devoted fathers) everywhere.
Most people will find a positive path in live, even in the face of bad parenting. Some never do, and who can really say what tips the scales? My theory is that good people have a sense or moral and social obligation, those who don’t become drifters. Most addicts get over it, and want to move on.

By: Environmental Impact Statement

Environmental Impact Statement — Sat, 09 May 2009 17:23:15 +0000

Yes Ronda I too think your son would have been more successful if his father had vanished. I left the children’s father (a prominent criminal barrister) when my youngest was a baby.
I sought no settlement or maintenance and bought a dump of a house in a small country town for $6,000, on the other side of the nation; my brother went guarantor on the bank loan and I went to work.
To my disgust, the father abandoned his children completely until he saw his successful adult son on the tellie and behold….the resurrection! Or perhaps the resurrection was a result of two subsequent ex-wives and three other children emptying his piggy bank?
Luckily he could have no influence over my children – the die had been cast for more than two decades before they ever set eyes on him.
The children he had in another union are all losers and did a runner on paying for their father’s funeral expenses. However, the funeral expenses were paid for by my son even though the deceased had not sent his son or daughter a Christmas card in their entire lives.
I shudder to imagine how my kids would have evolved under the influence of such a father and I now count my lucky stars that he’d abandoned them.
However, drug addiction is the scourge of humanity. No-one can attribute these addictions to the manner in which anyone is raised by any parent. A couple of hits of these vile substances and the most strong willed can become hooked and unfortunately, our youth are the most vulnerable in today’s society.

By: ronda jambe

ronda jambe — Sat, 09 May 2009 08:41:33 +0000

The boot camp idea is similar to what I propose, and I wouldn’t have age limits on it. I think we offer too much leeway for individual choice at the expense of public health and safety.
I, too, was a single parent for many years, and I often think it would have been better if their father had totally vanished, rather than being the passive aggressive and weak human that he offered as an example. I used to think that I was showing them a woman can hold down a job, pay off a mortgage, pay for the piano lessons, and have a garden, but what they seem to have learned is that men are failures.
I’ve offered to pay for naltrexone implants, psychologists, you name it. The answer is always no, and he has never completed a rehab, even when ordered by the court.

By: Environmental Impact Statement

Environmental Impact Statement — Fri, 08 May 2009 23:34:18 +0000

Such a tragedy Ronda and so common these days. And what is the answer? I often wonder whether some people have more addictive genes than others.
Some years ago, a boot camp was set up, close to desert country in WA. Alas, it closed fairly quickly, however, I have always advocated that druggie kids should be sent there for months to detox, where there’s no chance of escape.
Sounds radical I guess but nothing else is working so what has anyone to lose and why can’t we certify these kids so they can be forced to rehabilitate? Why are we giving them the freedom of choice?
Anyway I think you’re marvellous to have endured so much. I am a single Mother of two (a hard one my adult kids now tell me) but it worked. I bluffed ‘em – thank God – but more luck than good parenting I think!
Did you know there’s a GP in Perth who conducts a clinic for druggies? He appears to have a good deal of success with the abdominal implants he uses on his patients.

By: ronda jambe

ronda jambe — Thu, 07 May 2009 10:05:06 +0000

The topic of drugs and personal or family responsibility clearly cuts to the nerve for many people. Once you reach out for help, as with the Drugs in the Family support group I’ve attended irregularly over the years, you find out just how comon this issue is, particularly alcohol abuse.
The effects on family members are seldom counted, but I also count the cost to society, and I pose the question: from a purely cost-benefit perspective, which would be better – the current approach, which accumulates huge costs in law enforcement, medical interventions, dole, support services, etc, or an alternative universe where druggos that cause harm to others (as in stealing) go directly to a long rehab in the desert, where they will learn to be decent citizens. If they regress, they go back for twice as long. My son wouldn’t have brain damage, Hep C or epilepsy if that had been his fate. I personally believe there is also a place for decriminalisation.

By: Romany

Romany — Thu, 07 May 2009 09:27:31 +0000

Whenever we take the step of putting a part of ourselves – however small and shorn of all context it may be – out into the public sphere we invite yet another knock on the chin.
The glib, the sanctimonious, the self-righteous, the unimaginative, the crazies…and the very, very frightened…are always going to use such weapons to ward off their own demons or to fulfill some personal need.
Its unfortunate that those who are bleeding themselves, the empathetic, and those who would provide assurance that one is not alone are often unable themselves – for myriad reasons – to comment.
But those who benefit and are capable of recognising and sharing another’s pain are nevertheless out there and silently applauding bravery wherever they recognise it.
This is just a reminder, because in the face of negativity, its often easy to doubt oneself or ones motives, that you’re doing good. Keep the faith, girl, we’ve got your back.

By: Arjay

Arjay — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:50:30 +0000

I never realised how destructive crystal meth[ice] is until viewing a documentary just recently.It turns people into living zombies.They suffer irreparable brain and body damage.
I see no solution to drugs.Ice can be made in any backyard using basic chemistry.As soon as we ban one,someone is inventing a better one.
You can love your child to the best of your ability,yet in the end,it is they who have to make the decision in the end.Life or slow death by drugs.
I will not judge you Rhonda,but for those who do,I will pose this simple question,”Could your drug addict son return all the love and responsibly that you have given over the decades?”
If you cannot give love and be responible for someone,then you are both useless to yourself and society.
The choice is clear and unambigious.Life or death.

By: ronda jambe

ronda jambe — Wed, 06 May 2009 14:50:31 +0000

Yes, Barney, some of it is luck, or maybe genes, in addition to the effort required to be a good parent. For these 14 years, what kept me reaching out, trying, offering, supporting, was the glimpses of the gentle soul within.
But so many years of self abuse have mostly washed that son away, and there comes a time to let it all go.
As for the earlier comment about Sarah Pallin, clearly that poster doesn’t understand that such situations can happen to liberals, not just right wing parents.

By: Barney

Barney — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:35:02 +0000

It’s easy for us to sit in judgment of people and how they behave. It’s much harder to put ourselves in their shoes. I struck the jackpot. Both my kids appear reasonably well adjusted and we appear to have a good relationship with both of them. Some of that had to do with us and a lot of it was how the cards fell. It could have been very different. I feel for you Rhonda. The cards didn’t fall as well for you. I guess the only ray of sunshine i can offer is to retell the line from PARENTHOOD, an underrated movie:
You never stop being a parent. Despite the despair you are feeling now he is still your son and despite your despair you still love him.
I hope things improve for you and him.